Dear Asha, It’s You! From 2030.
I know this is the scariest, most enraging, precarious time in the world that you and your generation have ever experienced. You have a devastatingly inept government. Your leaders have led your nation into disaster. 210,000 in the US have died from Covid. Black people are still getting brutally killed- Bryonna’s murderers are still happily tucked in their beds at night. There hasn’t been any police reform. Fires in the American west haven’t slowed down, ash is raining down from the sky as you read this.
On a personal note, you and Michael both lost your jobs and all your career prospects this year. Money has been stressful. Your marriage has been stressful. You got diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS which apparently makes you more vulnerable to Covid if you were to get it. Apparently now you have to have babies sooner if you want them, which you do. But not yet. You had to go bedrest for nearly 2 months and completely change your diet, again, with a diagnoses, again. You got a puppy right before that which was exciting, but incredibly overwhelming when you were dealing with so much endo pain and supposed to be on bedrest. You have no idea what to do with your career. You’re stuck inside. Air quality is too bad for a walk. You’re overwhelmed, and sad, and wondering when all of this will be over.
Is this a terrible letter? I hope not. I’m saying all of this to say, I know. I haven’t forgotten. It was one of the worst years for the whole world, and I want you to know future me hasn’t forgotten that. I don’t want you to feel invalidated as you read this.
And now let me take this moment to remind you how lucky you are. No one you personally know and love has died. Somehow your circle was smart/safe/healthy/privileged enough to remain untouched. That is wildly lucky. Also, you got a freaking PUPPY! Yes it was right after your diagnoses and ended up being terrible timing, but hello he is to date the best dog in the world and it all ended up working out. You fell back in love with writing and wrote a BOOK and Michael completed his personal training certification/new business! You guys killed it. And when things got especially hard, you guys went to marriage counseling to have someone help you through all the stress. You shared a space 24/7 and didn’t kill each other! That’s a 2020 victory if I’ve ever heard of one. You got to be home, drink wine, fall back in love with pilates, read a copious amount of books, write, and haves many conversations with loved ones. You were incredibly blessed in a world of unyielding tragedy.
And now, the part of my letter I’ve been the most excited to write. The part where I tell you everything turns out okay.
The world finds its footing again. More people died. More homes burned. Is that okay? No. I’m not saying any of that lightly. But like all tragedies, the world moved on. I’m not going to tell you the election results or the date the vaccine was discovered, because you need to live through all that. But I’m here to tell you, you lived through it. You both did. So did your families. You lucky, lucky ducks. (Don’t get cocky and stop being cautious. You lived through it because you were terrified and exceedingly careful.)
It took a while for the US to recover. As you know already, the economy was devastated. The country was deeply divided. Everyone was angry. I’m not gonna lie, it took a long time for the US to find its footing. But it did. And it will. Don’t feel like it’s the end of the world, because it’s not.
Michael is here with me tonight, he’s playing video games and sipping a small glass of whiskey as usual. Some things never change. You guys are doing wonderfully. 2020 was a rocky year for everyone, but let me tell you your marriage got better because of it. I know that seems crazy to hear, but never lose faith. He really is the man for you. You will keeping falling more and more in love with him over the years. It’s mind boggling how deep love can run.
Milo is now a 10 year old, 30 lb chunker and happily passed out on the floor. Duny and Tufty are cuddling with him!! I bet you never thought that would happen. (It’ll happen much sooner than you’d think.) Duny is 15 and Tufty 13. I know you know math, but it’s been wild to watch them grow up. They still act like babies. They’re still your babies.
And guess what? Your kids are in the living room tackling each other. Yes, YOUR KIDS! They are sweet as pie, mischievous as ever, and let me just tell you karma came back to bite you and Michael in the ass for all the hell you both put your poor moms through. Fortunately you were both hellions as well, so you know how to handle them (most of the time). They are beautiful. Perfectly imperfect. They drive you freaking nuts, inspire you more than any muse could, and your heart grows everyday because of them.
Guess what else? You have a HOUSE! It’s a beautiful home, as cozy and spacious as you hoped and dreamed. It’s the perfect compromise of being out of the city/around nature, and close enough to the WB lot. I won’t tell you where, again you have to go through the process of discovering it. But I will tell you this- the kitchen and layout is exactly what you hoped for, like to T it’s pretty crazy. Vision boards are a wild thing. You have a beautiful backyard, a wine rack, even a vegetable garden. Michael’s tomatoes are finally growing. You have the sun coming in at the right angle, unlike on that tiny little balcony in your old apartment. It’s a home you both love. You get to hang out outside all the time now. Don’t be in a rush, this home and neighborhood will come at the perfect time, and you’ll both be elated and so ready for it- emotionally and financially.
Most importantly, you’re satisfied. You got to go back on set. You booked huge, dream roles. You SOBBED with joy that first booking, it was cute. Your book about grandma sold like wild fire. It was worth all that work. You even got that premiere party with your writing agent. And red carpet premieres with your acting reps. The funny thing is once those came, you didn’t even care. The real joy for you was writing at your desk in the morning with a hot cup of coffee, acting on set and having terrifyingly real moments with your incredible co stars. You were successful. You were too terrified and motivated not to be. Don’t worry, you’ll get there. You’re still so young. But you’ll get there, so enjoy the journey. (I know, I know- cheesy. But true actually).
What more can I say? I want to tell you all about Michael- all about his booming personal training business, his amazing work on set with stunts and fight choreography, his beautiful acting work. I want to tell you about what a fiercely wonderful dad he is. UGH he makes your heart melt every day. But you know what? More than wanting to tell you about it (which I basically just did), I want you to live those moments of surprise, pride, and wonder with him. He is an amazing man, and you deserve to experience that every day without me being the spoiler alert. (Spoiler alert: He’s successful too. He’s happy. Don’t worry about him, he’s just as terrified and motivated and bound for success and happiness as you are.)
Life will work out. 2020 is a scary year. But hang in there. The best is yet to come.